Released: 2019
In “before i realize,” XXXTENTACION delves deep into themes of unrequited love, patience, and the intense emotional labor in trying to maintain a connection with someone who’s emotionally distant. The song is a raw exposition of the toll that such endeavors take on one’s well-being and mental health, packaged in a melancholy melody that’s all too relatable.
At the heart of this track, XXXTENTACION uses simple yet impactful phrases like “Spend time waitin’ for you” and “You know I’d die before you,” which paints a picture of dedication and the extreme lengths he’s willing to go for the person he loves. The repetition of “Realized, long before you” suggests a deep understanding and self-awareness about the situation way before the other person catches on, highlighting a sense of loneliness in his foresight.
Moreover, “Real love, know I saw you” coupled with “Said you can’t hide beneath your Pain, I seen it with my eyes” reveals a level of intimacy and authenticity in their relationship. It’s about seeing beyond someone’s facade and recognizing their pain, a testament to the realness of his feelings. However, the repeated “Duh, duh-duh, duh, duh” serves as an auditory break that perhaps symbolizes the cyclical, and at times, monotonous nature of waiting for someone to reciprocate your love and effort. It reflects the emotional rollercoaster and the repetitive cycle of hope and despair.
The power of “before i realize” lies in its simplicity and the way XXXTENTACION captures the essence of longing, the complexity of human emotions, and the silent battles fought in the name of love. Through this song, XXXTENTACION connects with listeners on a deeply emotional level, offering solace and understanding to those navigating the rocky terrains of love and emotional vulnerability.
