Released: 2017
The song “Carry On” by XXXTENTACION is a poignant exploration of heartbreak, betrayal, and the inner turmoil that accompanies a tumultuous relationship. The lyrics navigate the emotions of confusion and anguish while confronting feelings of betrayal, providing a raw insight into the artist’s struggles with love and mental health.
The opening lines, “How did you get here? I’m drunk and confused,” immediately set a tone of disorientation and emotional conflict. Here, XXXTENTACION captures the universal feeling of surprise and disbelief at a partner’s betrayal or unexpected return. Being ‘drunk and confused’ serves as a metaphor for his blurred emotional state and inability to process the situation clearly.
In the following lines, “I tried to be patient with you, yeah / High up, you’re falling back down,” he suggests an effort to maintain stability in the relationship. ‘High up’ can symbolize a fleeting period of happiness or emotional elevation that quickly descends back into turmoil. It indicates the volatility and unstable nature of his relationship.
As we dive deeper into the lyrics with, “Trapped in the concept / Falsely accused misused, and misled,” the artist reflects on feeling misunderstood and misrepresented. The term ‘trapped in the concept’ hints at being caught in a cycle or a relationship defined by misunderstanding. He portrays himself as a victim of wrongful accusations and manipulations, possibly referring to both his personal and public life challenges.
The visceral line, “Bitch, I’m hoping you fucking rest in peace,” marks a sharp turn in emotional tone, emphasizing his frustration and desire to cut ties. The intense language here highlights a boiling point in his feelings, underscoring a significant amount of pain and betrayal. It’s an emotional outburst that also conveys a desperate wish to move past the anguish.
Next, the verse “Now the fact that I’m alone is fucking comforting / And I can’t seem to shake this fucking feeling in my…” touches on the duality of solitude. While being alone provides relief and solace from the tumultuous relationship, the lingering feelings and unresolved emotions continue to haunt him, indicating an internal struggle that remains unresolved.
The stark imagery in “Uh, cold shoulder, heart broken, misspoken / I’m cut open, her fingers in all my stab wounds” illustrates the depth of emotional wounds inflicted by his partner. The idea of someone dancing on his grave while residing ‘inside his head’ further symbolizes ongoing torment and betrayal, revealing his mixed emotions of hate and love for this person.
As we move into the hook, “Carry on, like flights, I just carry on / With this pain inside of my chest / Got no choice but to carry on,” the artist acknowledges the burden of emotional pain he carries. The analogy of ‘flights’ suggests movement and travel, implying the necessity of continuing life’s journey despite inner suffering. It’s a message of reluctant perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity.
In repetition, “Carry on” serves as both a personal mantra and a recognition of the artist’s need to move forward despite the emotional scars. This reinforces the concept of enduring through personal trials, maintaining focus on surviving rather than thriving.
Finally, revisiting the initial line, “How did you get here? I’m drunk and confused,” ties the narrative together. It loops back to the sense of confusion and cyclical nature of emotional experiences in relationships. By returning to the start, the artist captures the relentless nature of his struggles with both past and present feelings, emphasizing a sense of ongoing turmoil and the need for closure.
