Released: 2024
“Are You Going to See the Rose in the Vase, or the Dust on the Table” by “$uicideboy$” is a raw and candid testament to the artist’s personal struggles, painting a bleak picture of substance abuse, unresolved trauma, and a difficult upbringing. The title itself is a poignant question about perception and perspective – whether one chooses to focus on beauty or ugliness in their surroundings and, by extension, life.
The opening lines sets the tone of the song with images of recklessness and an impending disaster. When the artist mentions “Double-R slidin’ on autobahn,” he’s talking about a Rolls Royce speeding on Germany’s notorious speed-limit-free highway, a metaphor for his uncontrolled lifestyle. The “trauma bond” references symbolize the unhealthy relationships formed as a result of his emotional scars.
As it progress into deeper introspection, childhood memories are uncovered, like “days in maw-maw’s house” and his father’s overdose. These significant events have clearly shaped his life – his father’s overdose effectively ended a carefree childhood, “motherfucker been dead since five.”
The chorus sees the artist reaching out for help, but questioning if he’s too wrapped up in himself. Likening oneself to a dusty object on the shelf, unnoticed and neglected. The line “I think it’s time to bid farewell” suggests an ending, perhaps to his current life or the image of themselves.
In the second half, they further paints a picture of his lifestyle, filled with substance abuse, evident in lines about stashing money “in the freezer” and being a “crooked congressman.” Openly talking about struggles with drug addiction – “I’m tryna win this war on drugs, but I lost the battle by callin’ up the plug.”
The lines “They keep temptin’ me to eat that apple” is a biblical reference to sin, temptation, and the fall of man– implying a constantly faced temptation that could lead to their downfall. Also also talks about the mental state, saying “I’m startin’ to unravel, surrounded by all these snakes and jackals” – a clear sign of emotional turmoil and feeling of being surrounded by deceitful, disloyal people.
The song ends much in the same mood it started-in – desperate attempts to reach out for help, still questioning if he’s excessively self-centered, and the image of himself wasting away on a shelf. The repetition of “fuck it,” implies his growing frustration and sense of giving up.
In summary, “$uicideboy$” use this track to bare their souls, confronting his demons and laying bare his personal struggles, using slogancy yet deeply emotional lyrics to invite the listener into his turbulent world. It’s like a musical Rorschach test – a tableau of trauma, addiction, and internal conflict, left open to interpretation.
