Released: 2013 • Features: King Chip
“Just What I Am” is a song by Kid Cudi, featuring King Chip, which consciously explores themes of self-identity, introspection and their relationship with faith, while adopting a backdrop of recreational drug use. The song caters as a self-anthem for Kid Cudi — a fearless declaration of the kind of person he has become, and the struggles he faces in maintaining his mental health.
The opening lines “I’m just what you made God, not many I trust” is Cudi speaking directly to a higher power, implying that his life choices and personality are a direct result of the experiences and tribulations that have been put forth for him. In the next lines, Cudi is dedicated to staying true to himself, not allowing others’ judgments to phase him, while maintaining a semblance of faith. His use of the phrase “on my son” is a form of oath-making, adding weight to his words.
The line “Ain’t no such thing as Satan, evil is what you make it” portrays Cudi’s belief in personal responsibility over blaming a supernatural entity for wrongdoings. “That burning bush”, a reference to a biblical event, is a metaphor for marijuana — a substance Cudi uses for moments of contemplation and relaxation. The verses then dive into Cudi’s love for luxury, the “big body Benz.”
“Neighbors knockin’ on the door, asking can we turn it down? I say, “Ain’t no music on”, she said, “No, that weed is loud”” — here Cudi uses a clever twist of words referring to his marijuana as “music” and “loud,” which is a popular slang term for high-quality weed.
When Cudi says “I’ve been told that I’m amazing, make sure keep that fire blazin’, we livin'”, he’s expressing his appreciation for his talent and life, despite his ongoing mental struggles. The repetitive “I wanna get high y’all” lines symbolize his reliance on drug consumption as a coping mechanism.
In the second verse, Cudi opens up about his mental health issues; “In-In my spare time, punching walls, fucking up my hand”, “Everyday to find sane’s a chore, amidst a dream with no exit doors”. He’s evidently in a battle with internal demons and feels entrapped in a turbulent mind-state, hence the metaphor “a dream with no exit doors”.
The third verse has him acknowledging that others might have it worse, reiterating that what he is now is a result of his experiences or trials (“I’m what you made God”). He also seems to call out people who proved to be unfaithful friends, underlining a feeling of betrayal that adds to his emotional anguish.
Overall, “Just What I Am” takes listeners on a personal journey, reflecting on Kid Cudi’s mental health struggles, his use of drugs as a coping mechanism, and his general outlook on life, faith, and friendship. The song may serve as a communal anthem for those who’ve faced similar challenges, relating to Cudi’s candid references to his personal and emotional hardships.
